Systematic Stress Management® is a structured program designed
to prevent and minimize the damaging effects of stress. The techniques
presented are easy to learn and can be included in normal day to
day activities. The system to Systematic Stress Management is made
up of five simple steps:
1. Capture an increased understanding of stress
theory as we know it today. This knowledge is key to making the
remaining steps worthwhile.
2. Remember to pay attention to distress signals and symptoms.
3. Identify personal stressors. This takes a high level of awareness
plus honesty, and leads to the responsible and effective management
of stress.
4. Seek out tools and skills that work to prevent, eliminate,
and recover from distress.
5. Practice all of the above steps regularly in order to become
and remain stress-fit.
“Stress is essentially reflected
by the rate of all the wear and tear caused by life.
….. although we cannot avoid stress as long as we live, we
can learn a great deal about how to keep its’ damaging side-effects,
distress, to a minimum.”
The inner messages you tell yourself are frequently the real
producers of stress, rather than the situation itself.
A key factor in whether you experience
stress relates to what you say to yourself about stress triggers
in the environment.
1. What do you
say to yourself when you’re stuck in traffic?
2. What do you say to yourself when your boss
is critical of your work?
3. What are your thoughts when your children
leave a messy bedroom after repeated warnings to clean up?
4. The inner messages you tell yourself are frequently
the real producers of stress, rather than the situation itself.
Most situations are neutral. It is
our thoughts about them that create negative or positive feelings.
Their stress value is generated within the mind. These thoughts
determine if a situation becomes difficult to handle. In other words,
being stuck in traffic can be extremely stressful for one person
and only a mild nuisance for another.
The expression “nothing is either good or bad but thinking
makes it so” explains the important role that thoughts play
in stress management. When thinking is clear, stress is minimized.
Often, people are stressed by thoughts that are false or unrealistic.
Irrational thinking is at the root of a lot of unhappiness.
Negative thinking is stressful. The following three techniques work
in controlling stressful thoughts that are repetitive, self-defeating
and cause “psychological pollution.” People mistakenly
ruin their own best efforts with negative thinking. These exercises
distract or lessen such thinking. They provide the ability to choose
and control what is thought about.
-Thought Control Techniques
Now Awareness
This is a technique developed by Alcoholics
Anonymous and used by members who need to wipe out thoughts
about drinking. It can be used to control other negative thoughts
as well. The procedure works because it puts time and space
between you and your original self-defeating thought.
Steps
1. An unpleasant or unwanted thought occurs.
2. Distract yourself by saying out loud the
words, “Now I am aware of __________.” Complete
the sentence by naming objects that you can actually see like,
“Now I am aware of the door; now I am aware of the pencil
holder; now I am aware of the picture; now I am aware of the
carpet; now I am aware of the desk; now I am aware of the telephone.”
3. Continue repeating the expression and naming
things in your immediate surroundings. You can repeat things
you have already mentioned. Should the thought return, repeat
the procedure.
One can also choose to focus on a single item rather than multiple
items.
Thought Stopping
This technique was developed to stop recurring
or compulsive thoughts. It has been used to correct self-defeating
thoughts, too. The technique utilizes the startle response.
We experience this when we are deep in thought and someone
startles us by saying something or making a loud noise. When
you try to return to your thought, it becomes difficult.
Verbal Version
1. An unpleasant thought occurs.
2. Close your eyes and focus on the thought.
3. Count to three.
4. Yell the word ”STOP!” as loud as you can.
5. Pair a behavior such as pulling your earlobe, scratching
your head, or pinching yourself along with the yelling. This
enhances the technique over time because we begin to associate
that behavior with effective thought stopping.
6. Repeat the procedure if the thought reoccurs.
Silent Version
This version is to be used in situations where you don’t
want to be obvious about doing the technique. This is effective
only after conditioning yourself with the verbal version several
times.
1. An unpleasant thought occurs.
2. Close your eyes and focus on the thought.
3. Count to three.
4. Imagine yelling ”STOP!” or imagine the word
STOP! in large red letters, picture a flashing red light,
see a STOP sign.
5. Pull your earlobe, scratch your head, or pinch yourself
as you imagine yelling ”STOP!”
Thought Zapper
This technique involves the use of mild physical
punishment when unwanted self-talk occurs. It is based upon
a very simple behavior change concept – any behavior that
is followed by a punishment will occur less often. This technique
is also very effective when combined with thought stopping.
Steps
1. Place an elastic or rubber band around your wrist.
2. You decide to stop your current self-talk because you decide
it is unnecessary and not realistic at the present moment. Perhaps
it is creating what you believe to be distress. You choose to
spend less time and emotional energy with a belief about a certain
person, place, or thing. You choose to be in control.
3. Give yourself a zap by pulling a rubber or elastic band.
4. Repeat as necessary
Distorted thinking results from making faulty conclusions about
the outside world. What we say to ourselves or how we interpret
situations may not be logical. Faulty conclusions lead to anxiety,
pain or other negative emotions. When people interpret experiences
more clearly, their attitudes improve.
Distorted thinking is a habit that can be changed, but it takes
practice. Devote several weeks to recognizing and refuting thoughts
that are distorted from reality. Read the definition of each type
of distorting thinking that follows. Then place a check in front
of those distorted thoughts you tend to use. Cite examples of your
own distorted thinking that you can recall and write them down.
1. All or Nothing -The tendency
to see situations as either all black or white. There is no middle
ground.
2. Overgeneralization -Drawing a conclusion based
on a single event or small piece of evidence.
3. Filtering- We only see what we want to see
in a situation. We filter out other parts.
4. Magnification - Making mountains out of molehills.
Everything is a potential tragedy.
5. Labeling - Putting tags on people or situations
that are one-sided. Stereotyping.
6. Jumping to Conclusions - Making snap judgments
or assumptions based on incomplete evidence
7. Shoulds - Following an inflexible rule list
about how the world "should" act.
8. Blaming - Always looking for blame either
in yourself or others. Situations seem easier if you can blame
someone.
9. Disqualifying - A person reverses a compliment
so that it is perceived as an insult.
10. Mistake of Control - Feeling totally helpless
or totally powerful in a given situation
How do you get some relief from the stress of daily life? Sometimes
all you need is a refreshing break involving some pleasurable activity.
Once the stress is gone, you can now handle the problem that faced
you earlier. The following activities are incompatible with high
stress levels. Place a check next to those you'd like to try.
Here are some alternative ideas to include in your stress management
activities. Read each and see which ones will be helpful to you.
1. Physical Exercise
Many people who exercise will tell you that nothing relieves tension
like exercise. Not only does it promote physical fitness, but
it also fees your mind and body from stress.
2. Take Walks
Walking is an excellent way to overcome stress. It is a good form
of physical activity, and when done in pleasant surroundings like
a park, country lane or lake, your mind can wander as your feet
do.
3. Scramble Your Day
Alter your stress triggers by doing things differently. Mix up
your daily routines. If, for example, driving to work causes you
stress, then alter your driving routine; wear gloves; try a new
radio station; open the windows; take a new route. Familiar stress
triggers from a variety of daily routines can be weakened by scrambling.
4. Stay Well Rested
Get plenty of sleep.
5. Warm Water
Shower or bathe with warm water to soothe and calm your nerves.
Do this twice daily if desired and give yourself some extra time
in the water.
6. Learn Acceptance
Sometimes a difficult problem is out of your control. When this
happens, accept it until changes can be made. This is better than
worrying and getting nowhere.
7. Give In
If the source of your stress comes from disagreements with other
people, try giving in. Fighting will only create additional stress.
Know when to give in.
8. Balance Work and Play
All work and no play can make you pretty uptight. Plan some time
for hobbies and recreation. These activities relax your mind and
are a good escape from life’s worries.
9. Help Others
We concentrate on ourselves when we’re distressed. Sometimes
helping another person is the perfect remedy for whatever is troubling
us.
10. Talk Out Troubles
It sometimes helps to talk with a friend, relative, clergyman
or a professional therapist. Another person can help you see a
problem from a different point of view.
11. Temporary Escape
When you feel you are getting nowhere with a problem, a temporary
diversion can help. Going to a movie, reading a book, visiting
a museum or taking a drive can help you get out of a rut. Temporarily
leaving a difficult situation can help develop new attitudes.
12. Clock Watch
When you feel stressed, stop all activity and watch the second
hand of a clock for one full minute. It is relaxing.
13. Listen Well
Focus in on some dull sound in your environment. Examples are:
an air conditioner, a copying machine, passing cars, or a typewriter.
Only think about the sound. Close your eyes and just listen.
14. Count to Ten
This is an old technique, but it does work. Remember when you
were told to hold your breath and count to ten when you were upset?
Well, it still works to help tone down anger, screaming and ranting.
15. Self-Help Books
The following books help you develop a positive attitude. Read
one or more of them.
• Super Joy: Learning to Celebrate Everyday
Life by Paul Pearsall
• Psychocybernetics by Maxwell Maltz
• Your Erroneous Zones by Wayne Dyer
• How to be Your Own Best Friend by Newman & Berkowitz
• I’m O.K., You’re O.K. by T. Harris
• Creative Coping by Julius Fast
17. Self-Reward
Starting today, reward yourself with little things that make you
feel good. Treat yourself to a bubble bath, buy the hard cover
edition of a book, call an old friend long distance, buy a flower,
picnic in the park during lunchtime, try a new perfume or cologne,
or give yourself some “me-time.”
18. Daydreaming
Research has shown normal amounts of daydreaming to be healthy.
A lack of daydreaming can cause emotional problems. It’s
a relaxation technique that helps imagination and intellectual
growth.
19. Sense of Humor
When events seem too overwhelming, keep a sense of humor. Laughter
makes our muscles go limp and releases tension. It’s difficult
to feel stress in the middle of a belly laugh. Learn to laugh
as a relaxation technique.
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